Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
