Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
