38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
