No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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