I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
