Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize