I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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