It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
and she was petting her beer can
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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