Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize