There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
