He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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