I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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