I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
