a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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