Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize