I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she looked like the before picture.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.