coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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