I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
