take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
