I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
