Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
