what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
