i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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