He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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