Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
