We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize