i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
