Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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