The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight