i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper