On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
