Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!

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(248): Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy! http://tfl.nu/x7i6

Replies (4) Good night (1846) Bad night (1002) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.

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(512): This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness. http://tfl.nu/ui3n

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(970): View more from Colorado

I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina

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(970): I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina http://tfl.nu/bmhg

Replies (100) Good night (6453) Bad night (2182) Order T-Shirt
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(207): View more from Maine

Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.

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(207): Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend. http://tfl.nu/fufl

Replies (13) Good night (5781) Bad night (853) Order T-Shirt
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(702): View more from Nevada

he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.

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(702): he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome. http://tfl.nu/3i6t

Replies (21) Good night (988) Bad night (6736) Order T-Shirt
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(620): View more from Kansas

I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.

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(620): I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks. http://tfl.nu/lsv9

Replies (12) Good night (5918) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness

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(484): 5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness http://tfl.nu/vhep

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.

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(267): he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain. http://tfl.nu/91dn

Replies (13) Good night (4317) Bad night (758) Order T-Shirt
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(765): View more from Indiana

Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.

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(765): Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100. http://tfl.nu/hfgw

Replies (5) Good night (1407) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.

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(270): Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband. http://tfl.nu/lfj6

Replies (10) Good night (1988) Bad night (649) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.

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(303): I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers. http://tfl.nu/x72i

Replies (4) Good night (1327) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt
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(775): View more from Nevada

Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer

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(775): Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer http://tfl.nu/5k0a

Replies (2) Good night (374) Bad night (759) Order T-Shirt
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.

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(508): I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate. http://tfl.nu/ga8b

Replies (8) Good night (488) Bad night (844) Order T-Shirt
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(404): View more from Georgia

Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.

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(404): Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing. http://tfl.nu/acec

Replies (2) Good night (187) Bad night (725) Order T-Shirt
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(209): View more from California

My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.

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(209): My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it. http://tfl.nu/53yn

Replies (2) Good night (216) Bad night (499)

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