I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
