i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
