You just made me feel so damn special
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
And then the night went full on bisexual.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
tell me about the eggs
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