he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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