I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
