i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
