garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
