I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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