Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
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take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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