Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
