So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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