Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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