Moan for me like Helen Keller
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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