I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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