Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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