Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
