dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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