called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
