I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
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so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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