He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
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she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
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I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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