I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
