guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
