# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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