you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
