Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
